Suit: Guess what he found. (pause) A stick of butter. (pause) In the soap dish of the bathtub upstairs.
–Cafe Toda, Broadway & John St
Loud teenage boy: They're completely uncivilized. They don't even use tomato sauce.
Overheard by: Sunny
Student, about dorm room: I walk in and thought there was a pile of shit on my bed. I look a little closer, and it was a fucking wad of dip.
–College, The Bronx
Student to another: Who made you the butter police?
–Union & 7th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lauren Razzore