Guy, rushing into room: Guys, come here. I need a witness in the bathroom right now.
Screaming Latino stepping into urinal: Ah! Ah! Ah! Sorry y'all, I just got dem crabs, so it hurts when it comes out.
Voice from cubicle emitting diarrhea sounds the day after Yom Kippur: Ugh, Jewish holidays.
Woman coming out of bathroom: I just heard the woman in the stall next to me say, "I love my ample taint."
Overheard by: Alison R