Young child to moth­er: I am not psy­chic.

–Down­town B Train

Over­heard by: furf

Nor­mal-look­ing guy: But we have the com­plex­i­ty of mag­ic!

–NYU

Asian Bikram in­struc­tor: Lis­ten to your breast and find your in­ner piss.

–Park Slope

Over­heard by: Bikram Cu­ri­ous

Thug on cell: You don’t know what kind of drugs they gave you, or if you re­al­ly blacked out. But you have to un­der­stand that the spir­i­tu­al world and the phys­i­cal world are two dif­fer­ent things. (pause) I don’t have ev­i­dence of a spir­i­tu­al world. (pause) You know that guy Des-cart? That’s his name, right?

–Hunter Col­lege

Over­heard by: [email protected]

Guy on phone: Lis­ten, Ju­lian, you are a shit-ass ex­cuse for a friend. You can lick the peanut but­ter from be­tween my toes. (pause) Lis­ten, Ju­lian, I’m on the oth­er line with my psy­chic, let me call you back.

–49th St & 8th Ave

Over­heard by: Lara