Man on cell: I need at­trac­tive girls with low self-es­teem so I can tell them that I un­der­stand and then do hor­ri­ble things to them. This is ba­sic sci­ence.

–40th & 8th

Over­heard by: 13Atlantic

Irate Wall Street guy stand­ing in deli: Every­thing! Every­thing! I said “every­thing bagel,” you fuck­ing waste of life. (to oth­er cus­tomers in line) He al­ways does that!

–Beaver & William

Boy, watch­ing Han­nah Mon­tana on screen: un­less she’s hang­ing from a rope, I can’t be both­ered.

–AMC 7, East Vil­lage

Over­heard by: agreed

Fe­male in red coat: It’s, like, the Holocaust–get over it! I did­n’t even care about it when it first hap­pened.

–Bob­st Lob­by, NYU

Over­heard by: wow.