Guy: Oh, man! It is not a good day to be my un­der­wear!

–Wine Store, 75th & Am­s­ter­dam

Over­heard by: Raven

10-year-old to lit­tle broth­er: Hey! C’mere! You wan­na play Cap­tain Un­der­pants?

–Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: dog­boy

Guy on cell: I’m not pay­ing her to smell your un­der­wear!

–57th St & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Lagsa­lot

Loud old­er gen­tle­man watch­ing peo­ple at sub­way en­trance: They don’t wear brassieres any­more!

–23rd St & 6th Ave

Over­heard by: Zom­bie Boyfriend

Old­er la­dy in fu­ner­al pro­ces­sion be­hind bag piper wear­ing kilt: I looked. He’s wear­ing un­der­pants.

–120th & Broad­way