Woman on cell: The inflatable penis and inflatable vagina are for me, mom, I figured the kids could use them as pillows.

–Broadway & Worth St

Overheard by: Hoping I never go on a car trip with this broad

Passerby to man peeing in the bushes: There's a kid coming, put your cock up!

–Union Square

Scene Soho chick: He's not gay, he just loves cock!

–Uncle Nick's Greek Cuisine, 9th Ave

Overheard by: Todd

Little boy throwing marshmallows: I hit him in the penis!

–Frankfort & Rose

Overheard by: Kristen