Foot­ball play­er on ra­zor scoot­er, chas­ing shirt­less the­ater ma­jor: I’ll get you my pret­ty… And your lit­tle dick too!

–Wag­n­er Col­lege

Girl, look­ing at long ladies bath­room queue: At times like these, I wish women had dicks.

–Win­ter Gar­den The­atre

Slight­ly drunk man: I feel like some­one just shut a door on my dick.

–Park Slope

Over­heard by: Sun­ny

Hook­er to pimp: I had to suck his dick in front of every­one!

–Out­side Penn Sta­tion

Over­heard by: David