Com­e­dy show tick­et sell­er: Hey! You dropped your scarf!
(girl with scarf around her neck rolls eyes)
Com­e­dy show tick­et sell­er: Hey, you must live here!
Girl: Yeah, and I work in this fuck­ing area, and you tell me that every sin­gle night when all I want to do is go home. (looks at tourists lis­ten­ing) Just so you know, “free com­e­dy show” means two drink min­i­mum, and the so-called co­me­di­ans are just dumb ass­es who are not not fun­ny at all.
Com­e­dy show tick­et sell­er: Woah! Mar­ry me, please. I’m not try­ing to be fun­ny, you are fuck­ing amaz­ing!
Girl: Fuck you.
Com­e­dy show tick­et sell­er to tourists: I’m be­ing se­ri­ous, she’s the woman of my dreams!
Tourists: What?

–Times Square