Flight at­ten­dant to woman who has just placed her bird on her arm be­fore take off: Ma’am, I’m go­ing to need you to se­cure that bird be­fore we be­gin taxi­ing.
Bird la­dy: But it is se­cure. Aren’t you, peach­es? You like it out here, don’t you?
Flight at­ten­dant: Please just se­cure the bird, ma’am.

–Run­way, JFK

Over­heard by: es­cap­ing to ve­gas