Mom to friend, as baby makes screeching sounds and bounces around in stroller: I swear I didn't do drugs while I was pregnant with her. But I did have quite a few raspberry martinis before I knew I was knocked up.

–Belmont Park Race Track

20-something woman on phone: I need to slap that bitch. I don't care she pregnant, her face ain't pregnant.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Mike

Ghetto baby momma: And it was like I was giving birth on the toilet!

–Belmont Ave & 188th St

Overheard by: Toomuchinformation

Doctor to patient: You're not pregnant, you just have gas.

–W 204th St

Overheard by: JMS

Little girl on cell: Oh my god, I know! And I'm, like, "that's why you're fucking pregnant"!

–Central Park