20-some­thing guy on Black­Ber­ry: No, he’s not gay. I was in a five­some with him, but he’s not gay.

–L Train

Girl to gay friend af­ter walk­ing in­to gay bar: Dude, ei­ther find me a straight boy or two Asians that will let me watch.

–NYC

Girl to guy friends: I mean, he’s okay he had the threesome–the guy was his best friend!

–8th St & 5th Ave

An­gry woman on phone: While you’re out hav­ing or­gies I am do­ing the re­al work!

–Vic­to­ri­an Flat­bush

Pre­ten­tious pro­fes­sor type in aca­d­e­m­ic tone: My ex had un­re­al­is­tic fan­tasies. She used to dream about be­ing fucked by God and Sa­tan and the same time. How could I live up to that?

–NYU