20-some­thing hip­ster to friend, punch­ing him in the arm: Dude, you stole my Face­book sta­tus!

–Cen­tral Park

Over­heard by: dude, just think up a new one!

Ca­ble man to an­oth­er, stand­ing in line at Wendy’s: Yeah, I was across the street at Popeyes, but it looked like some man was go­ing to rob the place, so I came here in­stead.

–Flat­bush & Ocean Park­way, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: An­na

Crazy la­dy to pi­geon: Get out­ta here! You ain’t gonna get none if you beg. You got­ta wait for me to give it to you. (throws bread in oth­er di­rec­tion) That’s why you ain’t get none. (a few min­utes lat­er, she gets up to leave) Al­right. It’s been re­al. Thank for not steal­ing my pota­to chips.

–Tribeca Park

Four-year-old boy to mom: Mom, when you take chips from my bag with­out ask­ing, you’re steal­ing. We talked about this. We talked about this at length.

–Up­town 3 Train

Over­heard by: This girl from NY