Suit on cell: And your penis is bigger now?

–68th & Lexington

Guy: I’m being totally honest, you guys…I pulled my groin playing ping pong. 

–51st & Lexington 

Overheard by: Mike Barish

Lady: Well, I don’t think he realized I was a hooker! 

–73rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Sandro Olivieri 

Girl on cell: So he was a big guy, and he was pretty big, but not that big, but I’m, like, tiny, so we tried, but it wouldn’t go in. Are you listening to me? No, it wouldn’t fit…what could I do? I dropped to my knees and did what I could, but we just won’t work. 

–West Broadway & Houston

Overheard by: Darby O’Gill

Mustache: I walked in and it was clearly a gang bang gone awry.

–Dive bar, 96th Street