Tourist to boyfriend: Why are there so many humans here?
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this n train is very crowded. There is a w train one minute behind this one with air conditioning, legroom, and color tv.
Overheard by: Thinking about switching
Guy: Y'all can't crowd up here! I don't want to name any names, but there's a baby back there that just got stepped on.
Overheard by: Samantha Chastain
Girl walking up stairs, suddenly turning around: Oh, nuh-uh! Get your forehead out of my ass!