Guy in court­yard, do­ing pelvic thrusts: Up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and…

–NYU Dorm

Girl to friends: Yeah, af­ter he stopped do­ing yo­ga it all went down­hill…

–East Vil­lage

Guy on cell, scream­ing: I’m a ma­chine! I’m un­stop­pable! Who goes out till four in the morn­ing and then de­stroys a triathlon the next day? I’m a ma­chine!

–91st St & York Ave

50-some­thing yo­ga in­struc­tor: Bring at­ten­tion to your re­pro­duc­tive or­gans, squeeze them as hard as you can, and re­lease. Let them go, let them hang loose.

–Yo­ga Stu­dio

Over­heard by: Puff

Con­duc­tor: I was watch­ing the win­ter Olympics speed skat­ing and I got to think­ing about the sum­mer Olympics. A New York­er should win the 100 me­ter dash. All they have to do is put an open train door at the end of the track and start the race with “boop boop.” You know that New York­er is go­ing to win the gold. Ya’ll have a good day now.

–A Train

Over­heard by: Com­muter #1,792,824