Old lady to friend: You know who I feel sorry for? Yoko Ono.
–Central Park West
Female suit on cell: I once gave Carrot Top a massage.
Overheard by: Robert
Ghetto girl on cell: I know you ain’t no Jay Leno and I don’t speak Avatar!
Sober guy to drunk older guy: You know what you look like?? You look like a fucked-up Bobby Brown.
Woman at outdoor cafe: She’s not that bad, she’s more Snooki than Fran Drescher.
Overheard by: Rick