Old lady to friend: You know who I feel sorry for? Yoko Ono.

–Central Park West

Female suit on cell: I once gave Carrot Top a massage.

–UCB Theater

Overheard by: Robert

Ghetto girl on cell: I know you ain't no Jay Leno and I don't speak Avatar!

–Fort Greene

Sober guy to drunk older guy: You know what you look like?? You look like a fucked-up Bobby Brown.

–3 Train

Woman at outdoor cafe: She's not that bad, she's more Snooki than Fran Drescher.

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Rick