Woman walk­ing in­to apart­ment build­ing: Why did I get stuck car­ry­ing the bag of butt plugs?

–Green­point Ave

Hot girl on cell: You won’t die if you get stabbed by a dil­do. (pause) Well, even if it was a hook­er. What did you drink?

–Cook St & Bush­wick Ave

Over­heard by: cameo

Homie on Black­Ber­ry; No, no, peep this, I said “cock ring” and she says, “like the guy from the OJ tri­al?” I’m dead se­ri­ous!

–Rock­afeller Plaza

At­trac­tive 20-some­thing to friend: Got hit with a sex toy!

–Pil­low Fight, Union Square

Over­heard by: An­na P.

Girl to four friends: And then I saw my old wood­en dil­do. It was wood­en!

–37th St & 8th Ave

20-some­thing girl: This is the most ex­cit­ing thing to hap­pen to­day! And that’s say­ing some­thing, con­sid­er­ing to­day was a day that in­clud­ed buy­ing sex toys!