Guy to se­cu­ri­ty guard: We’re not fuck­ing tourists, man, we’re just try­ing to get back to our home in Jer­sey.

–Port Au­thor­i­ty

Over­heard by: Con­fab­u­la­tion Na­tion

Met­ro­sex­u­al guy: There are two kinds of peo­ple I will nev­er, ever, date. One are peo­ple who are cul­tur­al­ly ig­no­rant. The sec­ond is peo­ple from New Jer­sey.

–45th & 5th

Over­heard by: Mr. Pink

Prop­er British woman to loud drunk guy: Go back to Jer­sey!

–BB King Con­cert, Christ Unit­ed Church

Over­heard by: bb

Up­tight 40-some­thing white guy: I can’t wait to get safe­ly back in New Jer­sey!

–A Train

Over­heard by: Josh­Bob