Skin­ny ob­nox­ious blonde: Sh­eryl had a shirt that said “I love Wayne’s dick.” And I was like “Sh­eryl, why are you wear­ing that to the out­back?”

–AMC Movie The­ater

Girl to guy: Epic fail, you have a non-work­ing dick.

–2nd Ave & 9th St

Guy on cell: Hel­lo, this is sweet dick. Can I speak to tight pussy?

–West Vil­lage

Man to an­oth­er: So last night, I was play­ing with my dick, and…

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Dusty F.

Man on cell: He don’t an­swer to “Leon” no more. He is now “Dick Das­tard­ly.”

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Mut­t­ley