Skinny obnoxious blonde: Sheryl had a shirt that said “I love Wayne’s dick.” And I was like “Sheryl, why are you wearing that to the outback?”
–AMC Movie Theater
Girl to guy: Epic fail, you have a non-working dick.
–2nd Ave & 9th St
Guy on cell: Hello, this is sweet dick. Can I speak to tight pussy?
Man to another: So last night, I was playing with my dick, and…
Overheard by: Dusty F.
Man on cell: He don’t answer to “Leon” no more. He is now “Dick Dastardly.”
Overheard by: Muttley