Gui­do: It just de­pends where you put your pe­nis.

–South Street Sea­port

Gui­do on cell: Can I get a blowjob with that too? (pause) Mm­mm ‚yeah. Where are you right now?

–Wag­n­er Col­lege

Over­heard by: Ferch

Gui­do: I’m about to go back to Men’s Ware­house and be like, “what the fuck?”

–51st St & Park Ave

Over­heard by: Con­fab­u­la­tion Na­tion

Puer­to Ri­can girl: That’s it! Ko­re­ans are like Asian Gui­dos! Ex­cept they don’t tan…

–59th & 10th

Over­heard by: shawn