Woman on cell: Num­ber one: I’ll tell you what you can do with that fish. You can shove it right up your ass! (pause) Num­ber two: You know what you can do with that fish? You can shove it right up your ass!

–Steps, The Met

Over­heard by: gos­sip­girl­ish

Boy to moth­er: Ma­ma, can we sur­prise grand­pa with a cat­fish?

–Cen­tral Park East

Over­heard by: wal­ter

Woman read­ing map: No dead fish in Ne­bras­ka.

–D Train

Over­heard by: Sun­ny

Girl to guy friend at hip hop show: That chick just sprayed her coochie with per­fume. Now it smells like a fish died and the oth­er fish sent flow­ers.

–Voodoo Lounge, 1st Ave