40-something tourist to friend: I wonder if there is a Panda Express around here…

–Chinatown

Husband to wife: That place has really good burgers, but there are a lot of gays.

–The Village

Overheard by: NY Homo

Enraged suit on cell: Virgil’s Barbecue? Virgil’s Barbecue?! Where the hell is that? How the fuck am I supposed to find a place called Virgil’s Barbecue in the middle of the night?! I don’t even know if that shit exists!

–Outside Virgil’s BBQ, W. 44th

Overheard by: Lynne

Tourist on cell: Yeah I’m hungry, I’m tryin’ to find an In-N-Out but I can’t. (pause) Wait, what? (pause) You’re kidding me. Are you serious? (raising voice) How could they not have one here? (screaming) Not even a Sonic? And this is supposed to be a world class city!

–Times Square

Teenage girl on phone with boyfriend: You know you shouldn’t eat at White Castle so much because that kind of food can give you all kinds of diabetes: Like sugar diabetes, salt diabetes… You know, all the kinds.

–Penn Station