20-something girl to friend: It was really awkward talking to him while holding the baklava I was stealing.
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Girl: No! I am not trying to rob a bank.
Woman, shouting to herself in bathroom: Patrick Swayze’s in the bathroom, tryin’ to tell everyone to get out or they’re gonna get robbed!
–Women’s Room, Penn Station
Overheard by: Katie
Enormously fat woman, with great pride: I could leave my uncle alone in my house for hours, and he will not steal from me.
Overheard by: Paul
Middle-aged businesswoman in slow drugstore checkout line: I work upstairs, and I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been here to pick something up, and just walked right out without paying for it because they took so long.
Overheard by: slurpeefiend