Hobo to scantily clad woman: I’m gonna tell Jesus on you.

–14th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: sarah

Man on cell: You can only play the martyr for so long without getting on a cross.

–Park Slope

Enthusiastic nerdy guy to friends: Seriously, man, that thing’s the Jesus. That’s why I’m the punk rock unicorn.

–34th Street

Small, middle-aged Jewish woman, after tripping through turnstile: Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! Jesus… Christ… Jesus… Christ… Jesus…

–1 Train

Singer on train, after teens make fun of him: I’m trying to sing my gospel song, to make money to feed my daughter, and people are laughing at me! You might need Jesus and I’m trying to share him with you. So shut the fuck up so I can sing my song. That’s how people get killed!

–A train