Hobo to scantily clad woman: I'm gonna tell Jesus on you.
–14th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: sarah
Man on cell: You can only play the martyr for so long without getting on a cross.
Enthusiastic nerdy guy to friends: Seriously, man, that thing's the Jesus. That's why I'm the punk rock unicorn.
Small, middle-aged Jewish woman, after tripping through turnstile: Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! Jesus… Christ… Jesus… Christ… Jesus…
Singer on train, after teens make fun of him: I'm trying to sing my gospel song, to make money to feed my daughter, and people are laughing at me! You might need Jesus and I'm trying to share him with you. So shut the fuck up so I can sing my song. That's how people get killed!