NYU girl: It smells like someone’s asshole just fell out.

–St. Mark’s

Girl on cell: You smelled good, but, like… Your armpits smelled like sweat.

–Q Train

Overheard by: Jon A.

Guy to girl: Something smells like shit… I think I forgot to wipe this morning.

–1 Train

Trivia night bar patron to his friends: The thing about Savannah is it’s really really hot, but it smells like dog shit.

–Pub, Red Hook

Overheard by: KP Whitey

Woman: It smelled like he had burned a baby’s diaper out of his mouth.

–Dempsey’s Pub, 2nd Ave & 4th St

Overheard by: Eww.