Hispanic girl to group of friends: Ugh now I have to be the one who drives drunk, and I can’t get another DUI!

–118th St & Amsterdam

Conductor: Let go of the doors in the front, please! We do have somewhere to go. This is not your own personal stretch limo. Thank you! (doors close)

–4 Train

Overheard by: agreed.

30-something on cell: The guy called me an anti-Semite. I said, I’m not an anti-Semite, I’m an anti-people who can’t drive.

–Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Bro to others: Hondas and spoilers go hand in hand. Just like women and vaginas.


Overheard by: Brianna