Guy on phone: You know that song, "I kissed a girl and I liked it"? Yeah, that's your mother.
–68th & 1st Ave
Preteen kid to older brother: You kiss boys on the mouth? You're 23 years old! You're supposed to stop doing that shit!
–Planned Parenthood Office, Long Island
Overheard by: amused
Theater major on cell: Nope. No smooching for me. Can't be smooching with these canker sores.
Overheard by: Ew.
Adult to child: So his body just went into shock. From the kissing, you know. He just couldn't take the cooties. Like, I'm lactose intolerant, my body can't metabolize lactose. Well, his body couldn't metabolize the cooties. Cooties are an enzyme too, you know.
Overheard by: Lynn