Teenager in oversized sweatpants: When I smoke pot, it just helps me unclench my butthole.
–Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn
Overheard by: POLA
Undergrad: Those were weed brownies? That’s why I felt so weird!
–Butler Library, Columbia University
College boy on cell: The way I see it, with the amount of money I have, I can either get two pills, which doesn’t even get me that fucked up anymore, or I can just buy a shitload of weed.
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Stoner to orthodox Jew: Hanukkah? Marijuanica.
–St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Nora Claire
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