Preteen boy, seriously, to preteen guy friend: Trust me. Trust that I know what’s best for you.

–Metro North

Creepy Upper West Side guy: I only trust Asians up to a certain degree, but I trust Charles a lot.

–74th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Young man to another young man: If you’re a bottom, you don’t want it to be a marathon. Trust me.

–8th Ave & 23rd St

Guy behind me: Nah man, I don’t trust him. Plus, he fucks his own mother. That only happens in Tennessee.

–Houston & Ludlow

Overheard by: 1:52 AM