Thug, yelling to mother and kids walking away: Nah, kids don’t scare me off. I love kids. I plan on getting like tree-four women pregnant by this summer.

–Nostrand Ave, Bed-Stuy

Overheard by: rick

Thug: Damn. You gotta go all the way downtown just to get a slice of fucking red velvet.

–Brookdale Hospital, Brooklyn

Thug teen: Yo, if I’ma pay six bucks for a meal, that shit better be grand.

–R Train

Overheard by: Jon A.

Thug yelling to group: I don’t care who hears this! Redheads fuck like black chicks!

–7th Ave

Thug: You fuckin’ motherfucker! (pause, then regretfully) I love you.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Brotha’Love