Man on phone: So, after I had sex with the pumpkin…

–Midtown

Overheard by: Sunny

Man to another man: All I can tell you is two bottoms do not make a top.

–15^th St & 8^th Ave

Chick on cell: Listen, all I need you to do is fix shit and fuck me!

–Brooklyn

Guy: And that’s why you fuck a grocer’s assistant.

–Broadway Play, Schoenfeld Theatre

Overheard by: Julia