Boy: I need a black Jew in my life.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Guy about to get on train during morning rush hour, in a defeated tone: This is going to be my life? I hate the fucking subway.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Brizzle

20-something girl: I mean, let’s be honest, my biggest accomplishment in the past few weeks is making a profile on Jdate. How do you really think my life is going?

–Westway Diner, 43^rd & 9^th

Girl on cell: Fine, mom! Then I’ll just become a stripper. (pause) No, I won’t get into drugs. (pause) I know, this is what it feels like when life kicks you in the teeth.

–West 4^th & 6^th Ave

Overheard by: Lezbotron