Bearded guy on cell, describing himself: Yeah… Scruffy. Like, if I lived in LA, I’d be a hipster, but because I live in New York, I’m just a sell-out lawyer.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: judydarkness

Judge: You are charged with unsafe driving, by pleading guilty you forfeit your right to a trial. Do you understand the charges brought against you? Of course you don’t, because you don’t speak English. (pause) Where’s my damn interpreter?

–Courthouse

Overheard by: Taylor

Black man on cell: It’s all because my lawyer is my brotha… We fuckin’ break bread together!

–Elizabeth Street Center

Old woman holding broom: So that lawyer took the money? Goodbye! I’m going to kill her now!

–Astoria

Overheard by: Natalie