Woman in the middle of cell phone call, entering crowded elevator: Well, I am leaving work right now, and barring any unforeseen problems, I will be able to take you both ways tonight!

–Elevator, 30 Rockefeller Plaza

Overheard by: Michael

Small child holding on to dad’s arm for support on train: I’ll just hold on to your meaty pole.

–Uptown C Train

Overheard by: K

Grandmother to table: I don’t care if it’s big! I just don’t want it shriveled up.

–Buddy’s Deli, Glen Oaks

Overheard by: Howie

Teacher, about flash drive: Why do I have to lie on the floor to get this thing in… Can somebody do it for me please?

–Bronx High School of Science, History Class

Overheard by: urbanadventurer

British student taking picture of statue: I’m going to take it from behind.

–The Met