Man, shouting across train platform to women on other side: You on the other train! You going to Woodlawn! Woodlawn’s a man’s asshole!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Going the other way

Overly loud ghetto thug to 10-year-old white boy staring at him: Nigga, whatchu lookin’ up my asshole fo?”

–Bxm10 Express Bus

Overheard by: rectur inspector

Teen girl to friend: I’m not saying she’s an asshole, I’m saying her brother’s a jackoff.

–Newkirk Ave

Young woman: My son is a lot like me. My daughter is a lot like her father: an asshole. She’s an asshole. Does that sound terrible, that I call my two-year-old daughter an asshole?

–1 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox