40-something man on cell: You can’t take a dollar out of my ass and put it into your own ass, you bitch. You can’t! (pause) I’m sorry, you bitch.

–Astoria

Guy to friend: And then I just stuck my fingers in her ass.

–13^th St b/w 2^nd &nd 1^st

40-something to friend: I’m gonna fuck that fuckin’ pussy and put my thumb up in her butthole.

–Central Park

Short balding fat tattooed guy in gym lockers: How the hell did I get glitter up my ass??!!

–New York Sports Club locker room — 59^th/Park

Overheard by: jason