Subway sandwich maker: What size? 6″ or foot-long?
Older suit: How big is 6″, lemme see?
Subway sandwich maker, deadpan: It’s 6″ inches long, sir. (holds up bread)
Older suit: That’s what I want, not too big. Does that come with lettuce?

–33rd & 10th

Overheard by: since when does it not come with lettuce?!