Mother to toddler: So you wanna play with Jesus, huh? (pause, then sigh) Well, I don’t think Jesus is around today… Not in the East Village, anyway.

–6th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Pedro

Drunken 40-something: It’s cool because Jesus said it. Fuck them all!

–65th & 1st

12-year-old boy in Catholic school uniform on cell: I’m only going if Jesus Christ is going, and I don’t think Jesus Christ is over on Flatbush.

–5th Ave, Park Slope

Walking guy: Can we at least agree that Jesus would have a hard time getting on a plane today?

–Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ladle

Five-year-old: No one cares about Jesus!

–Museum of Modern Art