Girl checking cell: Sharon just texted me telling me she’s engorged. (phone beeps) Oh, she meant “engaged.” Either way, good for her.

–NYU Bobst Library

Overheard by: Lotte

60-year-old woman, on Chelsea Clinton wedding: She’s not that attractive; they were lucky to marry her off.

–79th St & 1st

Young woman: She can’t get deported, she is my hair stylist. I need to find a man to marry her!

–D Train

Overheard by: Emm

Hobo, eavesdropping on two female suits talking about relationships: He don’t wanna marry you? Hit him over the head with a shovel!

–Financial District