Gay guy to friends: And you know what? His teeth look like chiklets! There, I’ve said it! It’s like he fished in his pocket, grabbed a handful of chiklets, went to a cosmetic dentist and said, “make me a smile!”

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: Gus

Cotton candy vendor: Hey, yo! Last call for a root canal…

–Yankee Stadium

Old hobo to hot younger woman: Sure would like to hold you, but you got teeth. I wouldn’t know what to say. Met some beautiful women in my youth, didn’t know what to say to them neither. Should’ve kept it simple: can I get a kiss?

–6 Train

Overheard by: Christine

Young child: Mom, where are my teeth?

–Lafayette St