Child to father: No dad, I want the whole fucking beer!
Stoned guy: Iced tea is just like water and lemon and shit.
–5th Ave Diner
Overheard by: oliviz
College student to another: So we can go to an expensive club tonight, where it’s really hard to look good… or go to a cheap bar where there’s premium beer and women actually born in this country.
Overheard by: melbert
New Yorican girl: So I bought this juice and brought it home, right, later my mother must have torn through the fridge and taken it. And she was like “I’m really sorry I took your juice.” And I was like, “okay, whatever.” I mean, what was I gonna do about it? Drink her piss or something?
–Coffee Shop, 77th & 1st