Subway preacher: When you get home tonight, stay off of Facebook and open up this book (holds up enormous bible). This brother here may be shaking his head, but get to know Jesus Christ while there’s still time.
Black hipster: It’s too early for this white Jesus shit, man. Don’t even start with that. I need a job, man. Not Jesus. A job. Is Jesus gonna give me a job?

–Uptown A Train

Overheard by: Special K