Guy on cell: …yeah, and then I got arrested. So what’s up with you?
Cop: Man, there’s a lot of Grade A ass out here today!
Guy: Don’t feel bad, honey. I’d say that one out of every 8 guys is a convicted arsonist.
Cop: Man, I hate going to the bathroom. You gotta take all this stuff off!
–Barnes & Noble, 22nd Street
Overheard by: Tommy Raiko