Girl to boyfriend: Well, I don’t know what kind of cult they’re in, but they make the best waffles.

–Union Station

Overheard by: Chunky Jesus

Guy on phone, loudly: Yes! Make the soup! Make the soup! If you don’t, I simply don’t know how I’m going to spend the weekend! (long pause) Wait, what? Don’t you use words that are longer than five letters when talking to me, young one!

–Q Train

20-something: He once tried to deep-fry an orange.

–Bar, Midtown

Overheard by: Adam

50-something yelling on cell: Yeah… I figured out we were at the movies, I was just wondering who brought the asparagus.

–Fairway Market, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Antny

Woman looking in her sandwich: This is absurd!