Yup­pie mom to daugh­ter try­ing to pet duck: Melis­sa! The ducks don’t want you touch­ing their heads. Ac­tu­al­ly, as a rule of thumb, don’t touch bird’s heads, any heads… I don’t want to get a com­plaint that you’ve been pat­ting some­one’s head!

–Pond, Prospect Park

Yup­pie clad in yo­ga out­fit: Yeah, but here’s the thing: I ac­tu­al­ly think co­conut wa­ter tastes like shit.

–25th & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: (me too, but I’ve nev­er ad­mit­ted it)

Yup­pie girl: And I said to her, ‘I’m not racist. My best friend is black.’

–110th & Am­s­ter­dam Ave

Over­heard by: ROTIROLL

Yup­pie guy: So I went back, but all there was was a door la­beled “wc,” and I as­sumed that meant women and chil­dren…

–Carmine St

Over­heard by: Rose Fox