I felt like I slept with Godzilla or fucking King Kong, I’m not dealing with this laid shit very well, huh?

–Hell’s Kitchen

Guy yelling, wearing dress shirt and slacks: I’m looking to kill about 14 or 15 vampires today. If anyone could help me out and point me in the direction of a vampire lair, I could probably kill 8 or 9 there. Thank you.

–8th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Jon

Boy to friend: Gandalf is kind of a pussy.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Sunny

Crazy woman: New York City is full of witchcraft. There are witches and warlocks among us. Thank the lord I have been saved.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Sonia

Hobo, to himself: It’s not a good time to be a witch. No, not a good time to be a witch.

–1 Train