Upper West Side dad on phone: Dude, it’s a fine line between, “hey, man, can you pay more attention to my kids, they have untapped potential,” and, “listen man, you’d better pay more attention to my kids.” You know? Yeah, you don’t want him to be like, “what a dick, fuck his stupid slow kids, now they get no attention.”

–74th St & Columbus

Overheard by: rick

Black lady: I got a kid, you got a kid, hey hey hey!

–Midtown

Overheard by: greg

50-something woman smoking cigarette, on phone: That was about the PTA meeting for my son’s school tonight, I’m not fucking going to that shit.

–48th b/w 5th & 6th

Overheard by: Mike

Ghetto dude: My motto is “you better not bring yo’ kids.”

–A Train

Overheard by: Wesley