Middle-aged guy to another: So it’s like, which one do I give it to? One’s got one leg, and the other has no legs! (both laugh)

–61st & Broadway

Overheard by: Too many legs to be considered

Guy walking and talking on cell: Do you know how to sew? (pause) Not clothes, asshole. Skin!

–McCarren Park

Tipsy 30-something woman: It makes your cheeks look funny! The cheeks on your face!

–Restroom, Financial District Restaurant

Upper West Side lady: I have to develop my toes.

–Columbus & 69th St