Loud Puerto Rican woman: You know what made me break out in hives?! All these nuts I ate the past few days! (awkward silence) I’m allergic to peanuts , y’know!
Guy to female friend: You know, if you lick the walls, they taste like snozberries…
–Dylan’s Candy bar
Guy, looking at menu, then to girl with him: Philly tubesteak? You’re having one of those tonight anyway. (pause) Cause I’m from Philly!
Overheard by: Ricky
Sobbing seven-year-old: I just want… a nap… and a pepperoni pizzaaaa!
Overheard by: Liz