Loud Puerto Rican woman: You know what made me break out in hives?! All these nuts I ate the past few days! (awkward silence) I’m allergic to peanuts , y’know!

–Hinsdale, Brooklyn

Guy to female friend: You know, if you lick the walls, they taste like snozberries…

–Dylan’s Candy bar

Guy, looking at menu, then to girl with him: Philly tubesteak? You’re having one of those tonight anyway. (pause) Cause I’m from Philly!

–Crif Dogs

Overheard by: Ricky

Sobbing seven-year-old: I just want… a nap… and a pepperoni pizzaaaa!

–M86 Bus

Overheard by: Liz