Man on cell: I mean, what’s there to be happy about, it’s Panera bread! She spent the little money she did make on cupcakes, that fat bitch!


40-something woman: Can I get a plain bagel, microwaved, with cream cheese. Thank you.

–Lenny’s Bagels, Broadway & 98th

Overheard by: Rstarr

Queeny teen to friend: Oh my god, can you believe we’ve been here for two weeks and we still haven’t had breakfast at Tiffany’s?

–Broadway & 79th St

Overheard by: SOS

Gay guy to fag hag: I would suck a dick right now for a taco.

–Rusty Knot, West Village

Overheard by: caitlin