Man on cell: I mean, what’s there to be happy about, it’s Panera bread! She spent the little money she did make on cupcakes, that fat bitch!
40-something woman: Can I get a plain bagel, microwaved, with cream cheese. Thank you.
–Lenny’s Bagels, Broadway & 98th
Overheard by: Rstarr
Queeny teen to friend: Oh my god, can you believe we’ve been here for two weeks and we still haven’t had breakfast at Tiffany’s?
–Broadway & 79th St
Overheard by: SOS
Gay guy to fag hag: I would suck a dick right now for a taco.
–Rusty Knot, West Village
Overheard by: caitlin